How Do We Talk to Children Who Have Been Victims or Witnesses to Violence?

By Payton Hogan

PAYTON HOGAN, M.S., IS A LICENSED MENTAL HEALTH THERAPIST AND CONSULTANT RAISED IN NORTH OMAHA.

It’s like any other day. You wake up at 6:00 a.m., put some coffee on to brew, scroll your Facebook timeline for about 20 minutes to get caught up on the latest celebrity drama, and finally you wake your kids up to get ready for school. This is the same routine day in and day out. Except this day is different. Though it feels like any other day, what you don’t realize is that your child will not come home the same innocent person they were at the start of the day, or worse, your child might not come home at all.

According to the National Center for Education Statistics, over the past two decades school shootings have drastically risen. In 2000 a reported 30 school shootings took place. In 2021 that number rose to 145 reported school shootings with 59 of occurring in elementary schools. On May 24, 2022 at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas, 19 students and two teachers were senselessly killed, with 17 other students injured by an 18-year old gunman. It is the highest death toll in a school shooting since the Sandy Hook Elementary massacre in 2012. Because of this incident, around 520 students now have been introduced first-hand to a traumatic experience that in the world of mental health and psychological studies is known to change an individual's entire reality.

According to the 2015 National Survey of Children’s Exposure to Violence, “Annually, more than 3,500 children and teens (ages 0 to 19) are shot and killed, and 15,000 are shot and wounded—that’s an average of 52 American children and teens every day. And the effects of gun violence extend far beyond those struck by a bullet: An estimated three million children witness a shooting each year.”

Witnessing and experiencing life-or-death and fight or flight situations causes trauma.

Contrary to popular news publications, the reality of gun violence for children has been present long before the steady rise of shootings happening in schools. In the inner cities throughout many parts of America, where poverty is bred, fed, and kept confined, children have been experiencing the reality of gun violence for a number of years.

When a child witnesses gun violence, is a victim of gun violence, or is close with someone who was a victim of gun violence something happens to them psychologically. Traumatic experiences engage our body’s survival responses releasing adrenaline and cortisol. These are stress hormones that allow the body to engage in responses to internal or external stressors. At the same time, early release of these stress hormones are linked to the body’s lack of production of the hormone oxytocin. Oxytocin is known as the “love hormone” and promotes sociability, emotional regulation, and the ability to develop/maintain/sustain primary and secondary relationships, i.e. parental relationships and friendships. Lack of development in the oxytocin system is linked to the inability to cope with stressful situations and also increases the likelihood of experiencing clinical depression.

Kids in the inner cities who experience this type of violence daily, and the unfortunate children who experience it at school, need help from adults. How do we talk with them and help them process these types of horrific incidents?

In “Introduction to Crisis and Trauma Counseling,” licensed professional counselor Meredith McNeil states that practitioners should focus on restoring three things:

Client should feel safe to express themselves fully
Client should feel safe at home and in the outside world
Client should feel safe in their lives, including protective factors and social connections

These same three things should be taken into consideration for anyone who interacts with a child or anyone who has recently experienced a traumatic event.

With children, these things are even more important because children are still developing an understanding of the world around them and their place within it. When society and adults do not handle their own trauma and emotional experiences with care, it will create an inaccurate example for children of how to handle trauma.

As McNeil states, a client who experiences trauma should feel safe in their lives and have a space free of judgment to express themselves fully. Many children who face the crisis of being witnesses or victims to gun violence just are not afforded that opportunity.

How are We Doing?

According to an article in “Counseling Today,” when moments of crisis happen in adults, adolescents, or children, a crisis counselor should be readily available and accessible for individuals to express their pain and heartbreak without advice or judgment. Crisis response teams take the approach of listening without fixing the individual or seeking to make sense of what happened for them. A professional with training has the skill to do this, however the barrier within many inner cities is the scant availability of crisis responders for the number of crises that many children face on a daily basis. An estimated three million children witness gun violence each year, while the number of crisis response teams in schools is not adequate to address these numbers.

Black and Latinx children are exposed to gun violence at a higher rate than white children. Yet, there is no true crisis response for students in inner cities who statistically experience and are witnesses or victims of gun violence at higher proportions.

According to an ACLU report on the lack of mental health staff in schools, “The American School Counselor Association recommends a ratio of 250 students per counselor. Over 90 percent of students attend schools with higher ratios. The national student-to-counselor ratio was 444:1. This suggests counselors are seriously overworked with student caseloads 78 percent greater than what is recommended by experts.”

According to the ACLU report, many schools have invested in policing instead of counseling.

1.7 million students are in schools with police but no counselors.
3 million students are in schools with police but no nurses.
6 million students are in schools with police but no school psychologists.
10 million students are in schools with police but no social workers.
14 million students are in schools with police but no counselor, nurse, psychologist, or social worker.

Local Mental Health Resources

The reality in many inner cities is that you are more likely as a child to experience gun violence, poverty, drug abuse, and other forms of trauma that can lead to Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

If you or your child have experienced trauma, it is important to talk with someone. Charles Drew Health Center in Omaha has a diverse staff ready to serve the inner city population. They have payment plans and vouchers to cover out of pocket funds if health insurance is not available.

The Center for Holistic Development (CHD) offers holistic health approach programs and services for both youth and adults. Founder Doris Moore established CHD to fill a need for behavioral health services in Omaha that were specifically designed for the African American population.

Reaching out to qualified counselors is the first step toward healing the trauma that violence creates in our lives and communities.